I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
