i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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