I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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