Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
