i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Michael Bay diarrhea
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
my poor anus
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
