She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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