We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
