tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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