it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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