i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
