moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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