We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
