He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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