super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
