My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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