I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
