hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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