I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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