Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
even my farts smell like vagina
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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