ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
