if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
