I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
