Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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