Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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