whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
