Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
