Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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