shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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