i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
