its not stalking. its research.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
