Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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