Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
