He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
