So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
