If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
