When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
