The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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