Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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