it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
