The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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