im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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