I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
