i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
