Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize