Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
