If i come over, it means nothing
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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