Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I have demons in me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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