So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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