how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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