I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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