Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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