Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
