Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
