i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
