It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
