They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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