they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
