I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The feeling are messing with the penis
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
