I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
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The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
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I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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