i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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