mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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