I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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