I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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