That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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