Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
