Jerry, you need to find god
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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